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Tunnocks Tea Cake Award
Written by Administrator   

tunnocksteacakeThe Tunnocks Tea Cake Moment is an award that is presented to the Player who (inadvertently) performs the funniest or most ridiculous moment during a match. Nominations are accepted throughout the season, usually by word of mouth and much discussion over a pint or two, and the winner is selected by the Board, and presented at the Awards Night.

The award is named after the famous Uddingston sweet makers finest Tea Cakes in honour of the 1st award being a box of 6 Tunnocks Tea Cakes. All subsequent 'trophys' must include at least one Tunnocks Tea Cake within the design! The award was first presented in 2001.

Season

Winner

Reason

2016 Jazim Sohail Jazim had to retire early in pain from a game after receiving a fast ball to the groin area. This wouldn't normally be a problem but he forgot one vital piece of cricketing equipment on this particular day. It is believed that Jazim now sings in a soprano voice!
2015 Connor Clark  
2014 Sohaib Asghar  
2013 Ramesh Duvvuri

Fortunately, Asam was unable to claim the hat trick of wins, as he was edged out in a fiercly fought contest by Ramesh. If you trun up to a game of cricket with your whites looking like the skin colour of a smurf, then you know you have epicly failed to wash your whites with only whites. Ramesh is now fully aware of what happens when you wash your whites with Dark Blue cothing.... You end up with whites that are now like a smurf outfit!

2012 Asam Ghaffer

He's done it!! The first man to retain the Tunnock's Tea Cake Award, and with sound reason too!! 2012 was a wet summer. You may remember that. You may also remember that Asam won the 2011 award in Dunfermline.  Well.... 2012, another FCU game at Dunfermline. The game was a bit wet...just a tad wet, but in the spirit of just playing it went ahead on the artificial. Asam as a bowler, obviously required to wear trainers. This of course could lead to a few comedy gold moments in the field, where wet grass and trainers make for an interesting combination.

Right on cue, Asam in chasing a ball across the wet square. Think John Curry, think Robin Cousins, think Torvill & Dean without Torvill as Asam skated uncontrollably across the square, going past the ball until falling in an undignified heap.

This year he had no comment to make!  

2011 Asam Ghaffer

A good year for candidates, but the unanimous winner was Asam Ghaffar, whose inspirational piece of 'mis-judgement' brightened up an otherwise wet season. 

In the words of 2010 winner Connor Clark (Ed- corrected for poor grammar and spelling!): "In Sundays FCU game against Dunfermline a slighty older batsman who wasn't the quickest between the wickets came in to bat. A few overs later his batting partner nudged an Asam delivery into the outfield (there was never a run) but they set off anyway. The ball was thrown to Asam who was covering the stumps at the bowlers end with the older batsman still only halfway down the pitch. Whilst we all thought Asam was toying with the batsman as he stood there holding the ball, it turned out that he actually forgot to take the bails off and the elderly batsman was allowed to almost walk comfortably into the crease!!"

Asam in his reponse could only say "Maybe this is the point I (try to) defend myself. ell I guess it will be hard to convince anyone that I didn't actually realise the OAP was still out of his ground. Only the ones that were there will know what really happened"  TTCM

2010 Connor Clark Keeping wicket, (Ed- In the days before he could bowl, he thought he was a keeper!) , Connor affected an unique run out when a rather wayward return throw to the keepers end was so far away from the stumps that Connor had to scramble to reach it.. As he reached it, he tried to stop the ball with his outstretched foot. With all the style and guile of a Gazelle on ice, amidst the tangle of flayling feet and arms, he misjudged the flight of the ball and ended up 'volleying' the ball with his his pads directly onto the stumps. As luck would have it.. the batsman was not in his crease.
2009 Richard Wilcock A runaway (or walkaway) winner of this years TTCM. xYDO grabbed the glory when he appeared in a picture in the National Press dressed in his entire cricket gear, sandwiched between 2 bra clad women. To put it into context, this wasn't, as you might have thought, one of the South Murieston Swingers parties, but part of the Edinburgh Moon Walk. (Ed- OK, so he won it because we were all jealous!)
2008    
2007    

2006

Paul Hammersley

Runaway winner. Paul is Mr Preparation....No matter what he does, he prepares thoroughly and as skipper of the 2nd XI its no different. He has plan A clear before he goes out to field. In the 1st game of 2006 plan A was based around the innings being of 40 overs a side....which was great, except that Paul had forgotten the 2nd XI had been promoted and were now playing 45 overs a side!! Wally!

2005

Navid Ashgar

A good season for TTCM nominations. We had Jim Wilson getting run out off a no ball, and Ian Thomson getting run out after walking out his crease thinking he had been caught. But these efforts weren't good enough to deprive the runaway winner... Navid Asghar. Batting at Dresselrigg against Heriots, the ball dropped and rolled back in the direction of the stumps. Navid, rather than knocking the ball away with his bat or foot, decided to swap the bat from right hand to left hand, to allow himself to bend down to pick the ball up with his favoured right hand. He was rightly given out handled the ball! As was mentioned by an unnamed team mate later, "it wouldn't have been as bad if he actually used his hands when he was fielding!"

2004

Jim Wilson

A disappointing season for TTCM Awards nominations. It was fairly mundane, and really there was only one winner. Having shepherded the tail (ie Nos 10 & 11) to add another 50 odd runs and get within striking distance of another precious batting point, Jim (who turned 49 later on that season) having batted properly for so long, had a complete slog for no apparent reason and was caught for 49. (He hadn't scored a league 50 for many a year!). Needless to say he was not impressed to find out that he had got out 1 short of such a milestone. He tried to claim that had the new scoreboard been updated with his score then he wouldn't have played that shot!! (Ed- aye right!). To rub salt in the wound, the next day, during a Sunday friendly, when Jim got off the mark, he was given a standing ovation when he scored his first run (for his 50)!!!

2003

Jon Wadey

Jon walked away with the TTCM award this season, with a unforgettable piece of commitment/stupidity in a friendly at Penicuik. Trying to cut a ball off on the boundary, JW realised that the boundary wall was closing in on him fast, and not wanting to collide with it, he decided to take out the permanently fixed bench in front of it at full pace!! Now not being of the 'lighter figure' brigade, JWs crash could be heard all around the ground and how he walked away without breaking a bone (or the bench) we will never know.

2002

David Vettese

DV, after a brave attempt to win it last year, finally got his rewards with a unanimous verdict. In a crunch match at Leith, he gave the professional out LBW, second ball, for 4.... Now that in itself is not just reason to win the award, but his explanation afterwards was... Defending his actions to an irate Captain he stated "It was hitting middle, and I wasn't going to cheat, so I gave him out...and anyway (stated in an indignant tone) I don't care what you lot think he was absolutely plumb so he's out!" Cue the nose held high walk away, followed by an outburst of laughter from the team!!

2001

Barry Lothian

It all started here with a helmet...Willie John's helmet to be precise! The day the TTCM was born. Defending a total of 70 on that fine (sic!) wicket at Arboretum, Holy Cross had reached 63 for 8. Mansoor Elahi and Navid Ashgar were bowling well. The field was set as Navid came in to bowl looking for his 8th wicket of the game... slip, gully, point, cover, mid off, mid on, mid wicket, short fine leg and under the helmet at short square leg, a young Barry Lothian.... A pitched up delivery, driven by the no 10. It flew in the air to James McClymont at mid off, and he proceeded to spill the catch. In a display of anger James fired the ball at the non strikers end, narrowly missing a run out...Fortunately Barry was backing up...Unfortunately Barry had removed the helmet and in an unexplainable moment of madness caught the ball cleanly in the helmet! Cue 5 runs! Plus the single they ran and it was suddenly 69 for 8!! We can laugh about it now, as Mansoor proceeded to bowl the last 2 batsmen without further addition to the score and a 1 run victory was achieved.

 

 

 

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